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7.27.2004

Reverend Mykeru on Florida

Good writing from Reverend Mykeru about one of Murka's most fucked-up states:

Recently though, Florida has also become a crucible for developing some of the most cutting edge dirt in the Republican arsenal of dirty tricks where any sort of weirdness, corruption and immorality is permissible, provided you do it with the Bible in one hand and the Stars and Stripes in the other. Patriotism may be the last refuge of the scoundrel, but it's often the first refuge of the serious asshole.

Florida was the staging area for the theft of the 2000 election. Florida is the base of operations for drug-addled right wing gasbags like Rush Limbaugh. Florida is such a fucked up place, in fact, that the Church of Scientology made its home in Clearwater, Florida, taking it over like the pod people in some cheesy Invasion of the Body Snatchers rip-off.

Florida should, quite frankly, be sawn off at its Northern border, floated out to some deep Atlantic trench and dropped like a brick tied around a bag of shit.

He goes on to examine a court case there in which coming up with a legally binding, manichean definition of gender is of epistemological life-or-death importance to the knuckle-draggers.

He also includes some great toss-offs like this:

Maybe you have your own favorite [right-wing canard]. Mine is the idea that one must support the troops by refraining from criticizing the politicians who sent them off to die regardless of how lame or dishonest the rational for sending them. In virtually every issue, drugs, taxation, civil rights, what have you, the right-wing has created a strawman issue to conceal their machination, a bit of misdirection and slight of hand which would be crude by amateur magician's standards were it not for the naive simplicity of those watching the performance.

I think my favorite right-wing canard is "They hate our freedoms." I suppose by taking away our freedoms they won't hate us anymore, and then they won't have any reason to attack us. Good strategy — they're doing a great job implementing it.