Have a Wary Christmas

The 10 Least Successful Holiday Specials of All Time

1. An Algonquin Round Table Christmas (1927)
   "One more of these and I'll be sliding down Santa's chimney"


2. The Mercury Theater of the Air Presents The Assassination of Saint Nicholas (1939)
   Santa's Workshop had been overrun in a blitzkrieg by Finnish proxies of the Nazi German government


3. Ayn Rand's A Selfish Christmas (1951)
   Santa struggles with the increasing demands of providing gifts for millions of spoiled, ungrateful brats across the world


4. The Lost Star Trek Christmas Episode: "A Most Illogical Holiday" (1968)
   Santa, freed from mental enslavement, releases the elves and begins a new, democratic society


5. Bob & Carol & Ted & Santa (1973)
   "When Santa did his striptease for Carol while Karen Carpenter sang 'Top of the World' and peered through an open window..."


6. A Muppet Christmas with Zbigniew Brzezinski (1978)
   the scenes where the NSA head explains the true meaning of Christmas to an assemblage of Muppets dressed as Afghan mujahideen was incongruous and disturbing even then


7. The Village People in Can't Stop the Christmas Music--On Ice! (1980)
   the Village People mobilize to save Christmas after Santa Claus (Paul Lynde) experiences a hernia


8. A Canadian Christmas with David Cronenberg (1986)
   Santa (Michael Ironside) makes an emergency landing in the Northwest Territories, where he is exposed to a previously unknown virus after being attacked by a violent moose


9. Noam Chomsky: Deconstructing Christmas (1998)
   how the development of the commercial Christmas season directly relates to the loss of individual freedoms in the United States


10. Christmas with the Nuge (2002)
    making jerky from, four calling birds, three French hens, two turtle doves, and a partridge in a pear tree